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Ahh damn how do I even start this.
I'm sorry to everyone I've been a pissbaby towards. Summer is a double edged sword for me because on one hand, I'm free to do what I want, but on the other hand, I end up shutting myself inside my house and becoming socially isolated. I get depressed and anxious and paranoid and I lash out at people without intending to. I never mean to hurt people, but somehow I always end up coming off as an asshole and my apologies don't ever seem sincere. I have a lot of personal problems I'm trying to work on, and it's not anybody's fault except my own.
I'm genuinely sorry if I've acted like an asshole towards anybody. I'm not trying to be a dick, it just kinda happens.
So yeah.
That's it.
I'm sorry to everyone I've been a pissbaby towards. Summer is a double edged sword for me because on one hand, I'm free to do what I want, but on the other hand, I end up shutting myself inside my house and becoming socially isolated. I get depressed and anxious and paranoid and I lash out at people without intending to. I never mean to hurt people, but somehow I always end up coming off as an asshole and my apologies don't ever seem sincere. I have a lot of personal problems I'm trying to work on, and it's not anybody's fault except my own.
I'm genuinely sorry if I've acted like an asshole towards anybody. I'm not trying to be a dick, it just kinda happens.
So yeah.
That's it.
Update, I Suppose
Hey! Not a whole lot has changed around here, but I figured I'd change up my journal entry for the last time this year. First of all, happy holidays everyone! Have a good break, or, at least, a nice holiday. I know holiday season is stressful, but here's to getting through it! I passed my finals for this semester, so there's some good end-of-the-year news for me! I'm not too sure what to expect of the coming year, but I'm hoping 2018 won't be a burning garbage fire. The bar is set low, let's try and clear it.
But, for real, I want 2018 to be a year of personal growth for myself. I want to get better as an artist, at least as much as I can. I
I Realized Something.
I hung out with a friend last night, and he told me something I can't shake off. I was talking to him about my loneliness, and that no matter how much effort I put in, it feels like I can't form lasting friendships. And he said to me, "Maybe you aren't the best judge of character."
And dammit, he was right. I'm not even a good judge of character. I leap at the first sign of positive attention without any regard to who the person giving the attention might be. I realized that some of the people I considered close didn't feel the same about me at all. They would only want me around for a laugh and didn't want to support me when I struggled. No
A Serious Journal
I doubt anybody really reads the journals I post beyond a skim, but I'm feeling really low and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.
Right now, my life is full of activity. I've got a part-time job, I'm in an international organization, I'm going to driving school, and I'm getting ready to go to college. I got the ball really rolling after I broke up with my boyfriend, who was pretty much mooching off of me in the last few months of our relationship. He wasn't ever really caring in the way I needed, and while he's not an awful guy, he made some shitty choices that led my self worth to plummet. I thought that once we broke up, got him out
more updates!! woohoo
Guess who's starting school in the fall!! It's me
Boyfriend??? naw son
Better off without him and getting a fresh start???? yeah girl
© 2014 - 2024 Zatsy
Comments1
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Don't be too hard on yourself, Kate. Life stressors happen.